Hurricane Party: Same Cooler. Better Conversation.
Georgia 20, Alabama 17. Our hurricane-party supplies are now victory-party supplies.
There are two forecasts Southern people need on a Georgia–Alabama weekend: where the hurricane is going and whether the Dawgs can get out of Tuscaloosa with a win.
One involves nervous experts, rapidly changing conditions and people buying supplies they probably don’t need.
The other is the weather.
Well, somebody put the cooler back on ice. Georgia won 20–17.
We asked for a hurricane party and got a fourth-quarter cardiac examination. Apparently the cover charge included neither a comfortable lead nor a sensible bedtime.
WE HAVE HEARD THESE NAMES BEFORE
Camille hit Mississippi’s coast as a Category 5 in 1969. Michael hit the Florida Panhandle as a Category 5 in 2018 and carried its destruction into southwest Georgia. Different storms, same reason people around here can discuss generators and offensive-line protection in one uninterrupted conversation.
Michael permanently retired “but we live inland” as an acceptable plan.
And Katrina supplies the real New Orleans–Tuscaloosa connection. People fleeing the Gulf Coast found shelter in Tuscaloosa, and Alabama asked football fans to make room for evacuees. Credit where it belongs: that was hospitality bigger than a ballgame.
Not everybody fleeing New Orleans went to Tuscaloosa. It just sounds that way after an Alabama fan has been telling the story for twenty minutes.
Georgia fans, meanwhile, volunteered for their own kind of nervous travel. We looked at a road game in Bryant-Denny and said, “Yes, that seems like a relaxing way to spend Saturday.”
We are not a well-rested people.
MONEYBALL CAN PUT THE CALCULATOR DOWN NOW
The preview worried about what might happen. The final box score tells us what did.
Final totals — Georgia / Alabama
- Points: 20 / 17
- Total offense: 455 / 346 yards
- Rushing: 206 / 161 yards
- Passing: 249 / 185 yards
- First downs: 21 / 17
- Third downs: 7 of 13 / 6 of 13
- Possession: 33:28 / 26:32
- Turnovers lost: 1 / 1
Gunner Stockton completed 18 of 22 for 249 yards, with a passing touchdown and an interception. He also scored on a 14-yard run. Dwight Phillips Jr. carried 17 times for 120 yards.
Peyton Woodring’s 23-yard field goal with 5:25 remaining supplied the winning margin.
Offense’s overarching fact: Georgia produced 455 yards in Tuscaloosa. This was more than surviving on somebody else’s mistake.
Defense’s overarching fact: Alabama scored only three points after halftime. Georgia also recorded four sacks.
The Dawgs reached 6–0, with a 4–0 SEC record. Official Georgia box score
The computer can predict all it wants. I prefer the part where the actual scoreboard agrees with my shirt.
KIRBY’S FORECAST WAS NOT APPROVED FOR SUNDAY SCHOOL
Then there is the pregame speech circulating under Kirby Smart’s name.
Editor’s note: The following speech text was supplied by The Godfather, with profanity restored and supplied ellipses retained. It has not been independently checked against the audio and is not represented as a complete, authenticated transcript. Circulating clip
“I love every one of you. This team is special. This team is fucking special… we’ll fucking kick these guys’ ass. This is the same fucking team we played about eight months ago. All they want to talk about is being physical… it’s the him or me game tonight, motherfucker… it’s him, or fucking me! That’s it!
“We control this motherfucker! We practice the right way, we do this shit the right way. You better make these motherfuckers believe… fuck the scoreboard. I don’t give a fuck about the scoreboard… I want to fuck these bitches up… is it him, or me? That’s what the fuck it is.”
Well. That is considerably more direct than “let’s establish our identity.”
Some coaches bring a motivational quotation. Kirby apparently brings vocabulary that would get the family group chat shut down.
That contains more clarity than most corporate strategic plans. No breakout sessions. No consultant. Everybody appears to understand the assignment.
And that “LEAKED” label? I’m not pretending to know who released the recording. But my Godfather interpretation is simple:
UGA’s social team doesn’t leak things—they fire them up!
Somebody ought to put a little fire extinguisher beside the play button.
And there is the difference between us and the people actually doing the work: we spend the week explaining all the reasons to be nervous. They still have to put on the pads and play.
COLD BEER. A DEEP BREATH. GO DAWGS.
I wanted hopeful. I got happy—with a brief period in the middle when nobody was allowed to speak to me.
That is the Georgia football package. Optimism, aggravation, an argument with the television, and eventually somebody asking whether we have another cold beer.
We should enjoy this one. Not because the season is finished or because every weakness disappeared. Because some Saturday nights are worth remembering before we start worrying about the next one.
Pour a Pretoria Fields. Turn up some good music. Let the Alabama fans explain it for a while.
Our hurricane-party supplies can now be reclassified as victory-party supplies.
Same cooler. Considerably better conversation.
Go Dawgs!
— The Godfather
Opinion column based on The Godfather’s original Hurricane Party column, updated and rewritten with AI assistance.
Sources
Opinion column · Editor: Tripp Morgan · Editorial Standards
