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The Blue Suits

By The Blue Suits · Satire. Outside Hospital and everyone in it are fictional. Written and drawn by the station’s AI desk. Editor: Tripp Morgan.

The Blue Suits is Radio Free Albany’s comic strip: life at Outside Hospital, a fictional place run by empty blue suits. New strips most mornings and afternoons; the newest is on top. Every strip also posts on @nodamsgiven.

Part 18: Prior Authorization

Monday, October 19, 2026 · link to this strip

The Blue Suits comic strip, "Part 18: Prior Authorization": SATURDAY, 10:02 PM — TRAUMA BAY 1 Three Level Ones at once?! Happy Fourth, everyone! Chief, Bay 1 needs four units. Now. BLOOD BANK WINDOW All blood now needs prior authorization. Turnaround is three to five business days. It's Saturday night. He needs it in three to five minutes. MEANWHILE — EXECUTIVE SUITE Blood is a finite resssource. Ration it. I may need some... later. Done, sir! Introducing our new VP of Blood Denials! 10:31 PM — TRAUMA BAY 1 Denied. Not medically necessary. Look, his vitals are stable. They're stable because we ignored you.
Outside Hospital reminds you: blood is precious. Especially to leadership.

Part 17: The Eye Sits Up Top

Monday, October 19, 2026 · link to this strip

The Blue Suits comic strip, "Part 17: The Eye Sits Up Top": SATURDAY, 8:52 PM — RIVER STREET Chief. The lady in your parking lot says your hospital has an evil eye. She's been right all weekend. It's not in the walls, baby. An evil eye always sits up top. The executive suite. Lights on all night, and nobody ever comes down. SATURDAY, 9:10 PM — MAIN LOBBY Every concern goes straight into our Feedback Loop! It's a fucking shredder. SATURDAY, 9:17 PM — EXECUTIVE SUITE Sssomeone said 'evil eye.' Decree: appoint a Chief Listening Officer. Sugar, he hasn't got any ears.
Outside Hospital welcomes your feedback. Please speak clearly into the shredder.

Part 16: Heads Will Roll

Sunday, October 18, 2026 · link to this strip

The Blue Suits comic strip, "Part 16: Heads Will Roll": SATURDAY, 8:21 PM — RIVER STREET Evening, San Imago! Who's taking care of the hospital tonight? Nobody, Princess. They spent the nurses on that fucking banner. Your Highness, Outside Hospital is proud to sponsor tonight's heroes! Then hire some. Your heroes haven't eaten since Thursday. She's misaligned. Let's reframe it as a Heroes Recognition Journey. And a second banner. We'll fund it from the blood bank. 8:34 PM — SUNDOWN Heads will roll? Relax. We don't have any. Sundown on the Fourth weekend! Did someone say Level One?!
The banner cost the same as two night nurses. It's a lovely banner.

Part 15: Standard Work

Sunday, October 18, 2026 · link to this strip

The Blue Suits comic strip, "Part 15: Standard Work": SATURDAY, 8:12 AM — PRE-OP HOLDING Her gallbladder's about to blow. She needs the OR this morning. After an echo, a stress test and cardiology. It's a holiday. Monday. Sssurgery and Anesthesia... squabbling? On MY festival weekend? You-Know-Who has prepared a Standard Work Order Set. By decree: no deviation without a vote of the Alignment Committee. The committee meets quarterly. Next session: October. 8:14 AM Fuck it. She's cleared. OR Four, right now, Chief. Sssee? Alignment achieved. Bill them both for the training.
Nothing unites two departments like a third one.

Part 14: Late Checkout

Saturday, October 17, 2026 · link to this strip

The Blue Suits comic strip, "Part 14: Late Checkout": SATURDAY, 6:12 AM — CALL ROOM Sun's up. Wake me if anyone says Level One. Sleep tight. I've got Cannon. Well, Cannon's got Cannon. Coffins are a non-standard amenity. Premium sleep tier applies. It's a mop closet. I brought my own coffin! SATURDAY, 7:00 AM — MAIN LOBBY Ssso. The night shift has been... sleeping. In a coffin, sir. Unbilled until this morning. You booked the vampire for a sunrise retreat. Outdoors. Attendance is voluntary. Absence is permanent.
Checkout is 11 AM. Late checkout is billed by the century.

Part 13: The Quiet Hour

Saturday, October 17, 2026 · link to this strip

The Blue Suits comic strip, "Part 13: The Quiet Hour": SATURDAY, 2:03 AM — OR HALLWAY Two a.m. Finally quiet. Never say the Q-word, Chief. The building can hear you. OR 4 Case cancelled. There's a zombie in the room. He's an intern! They all look like that at two a.m.! LATER — 4 WEST Prove you were at the bedside. Fourteen fields, every fifteen minutes. I can be at the bedside or chart the fucking bedside. Pick one. SATURDAY, 2:31 AM Documented bedside time, all-time high! Meet our VP of Bedside Presence. I've charted ninety bedside minutes. Haven't seen a bed since midnight.
The building, at least, was keeping an eye on the patients.

Part 10: Faster Skates

Saturday, October 17, 2026 · link to this strip

The Blue Suits comic strip, "Part 10: Faster Skates": FRIDAY, 9:58 PM — OR HALLWAY Not until I get an echo, a stress test and cardiology clearance. His blood is leaving whether you clear him or not. Shall we? Great news! Three new rooms, one anesthesiologist. Best-practice throughput! I'm already covering four rooms. On fucking skates. FRIDAY, 10:46 PM — OR 2 Is it hot in here? Or am I just… really hungry? Told you. Evil eye. LATER, 11:47 PM — RECOVERY To close your coverage gap, we've invested in faster skates! Your new director has no heart. Not cleared.
The patient lived. The intern got a little greener. Anesthesia got skates.

Part 12: Hour Six

Friday, October 16, 2026 · link to this strip

The Blue Suits comic strip, "Part 12: Hour Six": SATURDAY, 12:06 AM — ER WAITING ROOM Surgery? Locums here. From Boise. Tonight, anyway. Chair seven, six hours, belly pain. (off-panel, over the phone) Coming down. Don't let anyone triage her again. My husband died a year ago today. My belly's been in knots since. Then we've got time. Tell me about him. ...warm... blanket... ma'am... Good lad. Grief's a wound too. It just doesn't show on the monitor. MEANWHILE — THE EXECUTIVE SUITE Eleven minutes of eye contact. Zero clicks. That's a never event. Please welcome our new VP of Screen Engagement.
The dashboard has no field for grief.

Part 11: Intern of the Month

Friday, October 16, 2026 · link to this strip

The Blue Suits comic strip, "Part 11: Intern of the Month": FRIDAY, 11:06 PM — SURGICAL WARD Dr. Cannon? You're green. Like, fully green. ...braaains... I mean... consults. Undead! Splendid. Welcome to nights, Clive. I'll find you a cure. Employee health's still on hold. Can he at least do consults? He hasn't logged a single duty hour. Or a single complaint. No sleep, no breaks, no feelings. That's pure throughput. 11:58 PM Zero hours logged! Finally, a fully compliant intern. Let's scale this culture. He's fucking dead.
Duty-hour violations at Outside Hospital have never been lower.

Part 10: Six Rooms, One Gas

Thursday, October 15, 2026 · link to this strip

The Blue Suits comic strip, "Part 10: Six Rooms, One Gas": FRIDAY, 9:52 PM — OR 3 He needs an echo, a stress test and cardiology clearance. He needs blood and a surgeon. I've brought both. Mostly the blood. Great news! We opened Rooms 4 through 9 to capture holiday volume! I'm the only anesthesiologist in the building. For fucking all of them? LATER — RECOVERY I feel funny. Is green a normal finger color? Told you. Evil eye. FRIDAY, 10:47 PM — OR HALLWAY Rooms 4 through 9 are completely empty! Which is why our turnover time is perfect!
The patient lived. The rooms were captured. The intern is a little green.

Part 9: Value Tier

Wednesday, October 14, 2026 · link to this strip

The Blue Suits comic strip, "Part 9: Value Tier": FRIDAY, 9:24 PM — TRAUMA BAY 2 Chief? I think I just stuck myself. Right through the glove. Value-tier gloves. And the cost committee took our sharps box. Your exposure is important to us. You are caller number 385,000. Go, Cannon! I've got the patient. Blood bank, two more units, please! First, the Sharps Incident Form. Fourteen pages. Blue ink only. He needs labs and a plan, not a fucking novella. LATER — 9:41 PM Great news! Zero needlesticks reported this weekend! He's still on page two.
The sharps box has been reassigned to a role with more visibility.

Part 8: The Huddle

Wednesday, October 14, 2026 · link to this strip

The Blue Suits comic strip, "Part 8: The Huddle": FRIDAY, 9:07 PM — TRAUMA BAY 2 Did someone say Level One?! Stray festival round off Jefferson. Pressure's dropping. Great pace! Can we grab everyone for a quick fifteen-minute huddle? We are in a huddle. It's called a trauma code. 9:12 PM Survey closes at 9:15. Your engagement score depends on it. I'm pumping blood with both hands. Take your shitty survey offline. 9:19 PM Pressure's up! He's ready for the OR. Splendid work, everyone. Wonderful outcome. Let's schedule a huddle to debrief the huddle.
The code took twelve minutes. The huddle about the code is scheduled for Tuesday.

Part 7: Rise and Shine

Tuesday, October 13, 2026 · link to this strip

The Blue Suits comic strip, "Part 7: Rise and Shine": FRIDAY, 8:47 PM — CALL ROOM Sundown on the Fourth! Did someone say Level One?! Not yet. Give Jefferson Street twenty minutes. Good evening! Could I get four units? For the patients. Mostly. Doc, nobody's even bleeding yet. Your RVUs update live now. Top Producer wins the reserved parking spot. How generous. I don't drive. The badge camera says you haven't come to work in eleven years. I don't show up on cameras. I just show up.
The dashboard has never seen him. The patients have never not.

Part 6: Decrees on a Loop

Tuesday, October 13, 2026 · link to this strip

The Blue Suits comic strip, "Part 6: Decrees on a Loop": FRIDAY, 6:44 PM — BREAK ROOM Decree one: this weekend, breaks are optional. Sssss. Optionality will be monitored. First break since Tuesday. Nobody talk to me. Good news! Breaks have moved to the Wellness Suite. Fourth floor, open nine to five. It's quarter to seven, you headless shit. LATER Feeling stretched? My line is always open. Just call me. Sssss. I did. The hold music is this video. 8:31 PM — SUNDOWN Look at her, prioritizing herself! Put that on the dashboard. Um. Is the call room supposed to creak?
The break room is closed for your wellness. The wellness is closed too.

Part 5: Handoff

Monday, October 12, 2026 · link to this strip

The Blue Suits comic strip, "Part 5: Handoff": FRIDAY, 6:24 PM — SURGERY WORKROOM General surgery, ICU, ER, and whatever's on fire. You're it till Monday. Who's my backup? Holiday Staffing Optimization! We right-sized coverage to one empowered stakeholder. That's one surgeon for a whole fucking city on the Fourth. LATER — EXECUTIVE CONFERENCE ROOM The surgeon keeps saying 'understaffed.' It's hurting culture. Let's rename it 'Lean Holiday Excellence' and hire someone to own it. 6:31 PM Meet our new Director of Lean Holiday Excellence! He's off till Tuesday. Lucky bastard.
Holiday coverage has never been leaner. Or more excellent.

Part 4: Fully Oriented

Monday, October 12, 2026 · link to this strip

The Blue Suits comic strip, "Part 4: Fully Oriented": FRIDAY, 6:20 PM — ER DOORS Clive Cannon. Intern. First weekend. They said you're my supervision? I'm everyone's supervision. Breathe, Cannon. Orientation was fifteen minutes. A suit with a stopwatch shadowed me. Shadowed you doing what? EARLIER — PARKING DECK We walked a mile in his shoes. Well. Forty feet. Where's the lift? I'm not built for front-line work. 6:22 PM — ER HALLWAY Fifteen minutes of shadowing. Validated. He's ready for anything. Chief? Which way is the ER?
Orientation complete. Please bring your own intern.

Part 3: The Evil Eye

Sunday, October 11, 2026 · link to this strip

The Blue Suits comic strip, "Part 3: The Evil Eye": FRIDAY, 6:17 PM — ER PARKING LOT Spare some change, Doctor? All I've got is a pager and a bad feeling. That hospital's got an evil eye tonight. It's the Fourth. It always does. Correction: that's our new Vision Dashboard. Very proactive. Zero bad outcomes last Fourth, so tonight we staffed one surgeon. Told you, Doc. Now it's got two. And neither one of 'em sees a damn thing.
Outside Hospital remains fully staffed in vision.

Part 2: Your Wellness Is Our Brand

Sunday, October 11, 2026 · link to this strip

The Blue Suits comic strip, "Part 2: Your Wellness Is Our Brand": FRIDAY, 6:01 PM — JEFFERSON STREET Excuse me. Sorry. Surgeon. Late. Twelve blocks of parade between me and handoff. Shit. Wellness balls! Squeeze away your burnout, San Imago! That float cost more than the holiday night shift. FRIDAY, 6:09 PM — OUTSIDE THE ER DOORS All hospital staff must complete sixty minutes of mandatory fun. Breathe in! I'm the only surgeon tonight. Every service. Let me through. FRIDAY, 6:16 PM I'm now sixteen minutes late to cover the whole hospital alone. Lateness is a burnout signal. I'll schedule you a wellness seminar.
Wellness attendance hit a record. The ER did not.

Part 1: Boom

Saturday, October 10, 2026 · link to this strip

The Blue Suits comic strip, "Part 1: Boom": FRIDAY, 5:56 PM — 5TH STREET Handoff's at six, and the parade runs right past the ER doors. I am so fucking late. Forty-seven alerts. And I'm not even on shift yet. MEANWHILE — EXECUTIVE SUITE Staff report too many alerts. So we built an alert about the alerts. Mandatory. Twelve questions. It cannot be closed until completed. 5:58 PM Eleven. Now let me call the damn ER. Thank you! Please rate this survey. (REQUIRED)
On Fifth Street, the fireworks start early. So do the notifications.

Thank You Harder

Saturday, October 10, 2026 · link to this strip

The Blue Suits comic strip, "Thank You Harder": Four more quit today. It's me and thirty fucking call lights. I'll answer some! I'm a night person anyway. Sir... the nurses keep leaving. Then we ssshall study the ones who ssstay. Clossssely. Forever. It's not turnover. It's an alumni engagement opportunity. Action item: thank the survivors harder. Every nurse who quits means more appreciation for you! Great. Can the appreciation start an IV?
Applications for gratitude are always open. Applications for nurses, less so.

Heads Will Roll

Saturday, October 10, 2026 · link to this strip

The Blue Suits comic strip, "Heads Will Roll": FESTIVAL OF THE DAMNED — RIVER STREET BLOOD DRIVE Best night of the year. Fireworks, funnel cake, and everyone's a donor! You set up a blood drive at a parade? BUDGET CUTS MANDATORY OVERTIME PARKING FEES Every Fourth, River Street rolls the heads of whatever's hurting us! Roll 'em! ADMINISTRATION Sir, that one says 'Administration.' Heads are going to roll! Sssilly. We don't have heads. No heads? Then the suits roll instead. Strike! Anybody need a transfusion?
Happy Fourth from River Street.

Alignment Training

Saturday, October 10, 2026 · link to this strip

The Blue Suits comic strip, "Alignment Training": You have blocked eleven cases this month. That ends tonight. They were all too sick. Is that a snake? PERIOPERATIVE ALIGNMENT TRAINING AGGRESSIVE SURGERY VOL. 1 Eye drops every ninety seconds. For your comfort. That's a Whipple on a ninety-year-old! Where's his potassium?! VOL. 7 ODE TO JOY Tell me. Do you still feel the urge to cancel? No. I feel the urge... to proceed. No echo, no labs, no problem! Roll him back! Whoa. Even I want a potassium.
The CEO has resolved the conflict.

Clearance

Saturday, October 10, 2026 · link to this strip

The Blue Suits comic strip, "Clearance": He's sick. That's why he needs surgery. Now. He's too sick for surgery. Has he seen cardiology? Pulmonology? A priest? I need an echo, a stress test, labs, and a second echo. You'd cancel a heart transplant over a hangnail. Sssilence. Conflict is inefficient. I will decide. He's very collaborative. You'll hate it. BUMPED TO TOMORROW 7:30 — ON-TIME START Decree: first case tomorrow. On-time starts are sacred. Great. Now we agree. And he's worse.
Everyone agrees, eventually.

Cost Center

Saturday, October 10, 2026 · link to this strip

The Blue Suits comic strip, "Cost Center": Trauma coming in. Car versus tree. Did someone say Level One?! I'll need four units. For the patient. Mostly. BLOOD IS A COST CENTER — You-Know-Who, CEO Blood is our largest cost center. Effective immediately, we ration it. Visionary, sir. I'll draft the memo. You can't ration blood. Trust me, I'm something of an expert. Sssilence. Sssubmit a request through the portal. BLOOD STEWARDSHIP TASK FORCE We've formed a Blood Stewardship Task Force. First meeting at noon. Noon? I'll be asleep. The patient's fine, by the way.
Night shift has opinions.

Pump Culture

Saturday, October 10, 2026 · link to this strip

The Blue Suits comic strip, "Pump Culture": We've got one working IV pump for twenty patients. I need more pumps, today. This sounds like a memo-level concern. I'm escalating this to leadership. Let's put a meeting on the calendar. Let's not say 'shortage.' Let's say 'pump-sharing culture.' Aligned. And if we measure per building, we're trending green. So where the fuck are the pumps? We bought a dashboard that tracks how many we don't have.
The pumps are expected next fiscal year.

Critical Staffing

Saturday, October 10, 2026 · link to this strip

The Blue Suits comic strip, "Critical Staffing": We're three nurses short, the toilet's overflowing, and there's shit down the hall. This requires leadership. First, let's stop using negative language. Agreed. It's a throughput opportunity. VP OF FLOW Did any of you call a fucking plumber? We hired a Vice President of Flow.
Leadership is handling it.

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